Used to be that a cruise was something you did to get from point A to point B – like a trans-Atlantic cruise or the trusty mail ships doing their regular run from Southampton to Cape Town. In those days everyone dressed for dinner and clothes were packed in trunks – and there was lower class, middle class and upper class and never would they meet or eat together.
Boy have things changed! These huge floating cities have everything you would have imagined to be on Coney Island and more! The competition is fierce between cruise lines to offer a new feature and we have gone from the sublime to the ridiculous. Here’s a list of ridiculous things to do on a cruise and I am not talking about the hairy chest competition -
Stand in a line up to get into a large glass bubble which rotates over the ship for half an hour.
Stand in a line up to get into a pressurised large tube where forced air pushes you up off your feet so you can imagine you are skydiving.
Go for a walk on a glass pavement suspended over the ship (be sure to wear your undies).
Get off the deck and out of the sunshine – go put on your ice skates and go to the ice rink…. really?
Wait for an hour on a sea day standing in the boiling hot sun until someone gets out of the hot tub so you can squeeze in with a bunch of half naked people you don’t know.
Help – I am deserting ship!