Middle Seat Woes

It just seems to get worse and worse.  Everyone knows the middle seat sucks.  More often than not you get stuck next to a stranger – sometimes stuck in the middle of two strangers.  Even worse.  Especially arm hogging big strangers.  Do I have to repeat the arm rest rule –

Window seats get the window
Aisle seats get one armrest
Middle seat gets both armrests.

Aaaah – the good old days!

It was slightly worse for an unfortunate man flying from Hawaii to JFK.  He took the middle seat while his wife had the window seat.  Now … that`s what I call gallantry.  However his chivalrous behaviour was not rewarded by the gods. No siree.  The chappie sitting on the aisle seat proceeded to get drunk and then started playing with our Middle Seat Man.  Yes … playing as in touching his groin.  Oh my …. what to do in a situation like that?  Our Middle Seat Man said “What the hell?” or words to that effect upon which his molester took his pants off totally and started…. Well sorry.  You will have to read the full report in the New York Post.

Now this has to be the worst case of bad behaviour towards a Middle Seat Person.

Usually Middle Seat People have to put up with less grevious but still very irritating behaviours such as having no arm rest at all, constant interruptions from the small bladdered window person and nosy parkers peering at your computer screen.  No surprise that airlines are now charging a premium seat selection charge for the 2 seats on the side and even for the aisle and aisle in the 3 configuration of seats in the middle of the aircraft.  Some might try to outwit the system by booking the aisle and aisle and leaving the middle seat open.  Good luck with that – only works on flights that are not heavily booked.

Other common fellow passenger complaints such as smelly feet, smelly packed lunches, super-sized travellers, fidgets and non-stop talkers are amplified to frightening levels when inflicted upon the Middle Seat Person.  There is no escape except by way of medication.

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