Tag Archives: flight attendants

Chairs in the upright position

Maybe some of you out there can recite the air safety briefing with your eyes closed.  In fact if you travel a lot you probably do close your eyes when you hear it.  It’s funny because you can usually tell the newish travellers on a flight.  Those are the ones who are paying attention, reading through on the safety card and checking out the exits while the rest of us seasoned travellers tune out.  Bear in mind if something did happen on the plane it would probably be those people who paid attention who would be able to get off first.
Good job kid!
You will be prepared – unlike this guy…

This is perhaps the reason that some airlines have started making their safety briefings more interesting and even entertaining.  A good example is Air New Zealand.  Their Hobbit safety briefing was so popular and has been refreshed year after year

I bet nobody falls asleep during this one.

Other airlines are following suit – some with really good results.   I really liked Delta’s take on things.  They use humour to remind passengers e.g. putting carry on bags in the overhead bins

If you have time take a look – it’s quite funny.  C’mon.  The boss is away at a meeting just put your headphones on and pretend you are doing a webinar  ttps://youtu.be/noE1YzvfA08
In fact there are several versions – Delta has been quite busy poking fun at these procedures
The ventriloquist makes sure to sort his own air supply first, before helping out his puppet
So next time you get on a flight hopefully it will be a funny and amusing flight safety video.  In fact one can almost feel sorry for the in flight staff because the competition is high.  Nowadays it seems to be a flight attendant you not only have to be a server, a paramedic, a midwife and a mechanic – you also have to be a stand up comic artist!  Not an easy job at all.

Keeping a straight face…

How do cruise ship workers keep a straight face when asked these sort of questions –

-How does the captain know where to go? -When the captain is sleeping, who is steering the ship? -How many fjords to the dollar? -I am married, but can I still come to the singles party? -Do I put my luggage out before or after I go to sleep? -Is an outside cabin outside of the ship? –

Ice carving What do you do with the beautiful ice carvings after they melt?
Is this island completely surrounded by water?
Are you sure that our oceanview cabin will be above the waterline of the ship?

Why don’t inside cabins have a porthole/window?
Can I use American currency in Alaska?

I want to be on the port side of the ship!  That way I can always see the port!

Do you have to leave the ship to take a shore excursion?

Cruise photographer – Many people ask what we do with unsold photos after the cruise. We say to them that we put them on walls in our cabins. A lot of them laugh but some of them get shocked.

My favorite one is the couple wandering around the photo shop saying ” how do we tell which photos are ours?”

Flight attendants don’t get it any easier either –  Some comments from our hard working waiters in the sky –

We ask, “would you like cream and sugar in your coffee?” and they hesitate like it’s a difficult ‘Jeopardy’ question.

On today’s flight to Belfast, a customer asked me to help her locate her missing tooth in her luggage. When I refused to get into her bag and search for her missing tooth, she has asked the captain for a complaint letter!

I had a woman in first class take off her pants in the aisle (though she was standing next to the lav) and ask me to hang them up for her, while she stood there in her pantyhose!

And the stories go on and on.  Everyone working in the service industry has tales to tell which can shock us, make us laugh and even amaze us.   What have your experiences been?

What would we do without the airlines?

We have had commercial flights for 100 years now  with the first paying passenger on a flight on 1st January 1914.  KLM is the oldest airline starting back in 1919.  In its first year of operations it carried 345 … in a whole year!  That’s as much as one plane carries today.  And don’t we know about it?  We love to complain about air travel but it really is amazing how it has opened up the world for us.
How is this old beauty?

Flying in those days was very different.  First of all you get dressed up in your Sunday best.  My first flight was back in 1967 when I left England with my parents to go and live in South Africa and although it was a 14 hour flight (in those days) we dressed up to the nines.  My brother (who was 8) and my father both wore suits with collar and tie.  Big difference from today when flight attendants sometimes have to enforce dress code just to protect other passengers.

In those days being a flight attendant was a dream job.  Today you have to wonder how some of these flight attendants get through the week.  It only takes one difficult passenger to create a major headache for the staff and the other passengers.  That’s not to mention pushing those heavy food and drink carts down the aisle (they can weigh up to 400 lbs) and then there is always someone who decides to use the bathroom in the middle of the service.

Further grumbles from passengers surround the whole paying for baggage issue, the size of your carry on, inflight entertainment, meals on board…. and on, and on, and on.    But let me not go on…. the comedian Louis CK … sums it up best at how much we take things for granted in this great little clip from the Conan O’Brien show

Here’s to the working folk….

Those people who have to work over Christmas.  While we are lying on the couch watching Seinfeld and digesting turkey there are a whole host of people who have to work over Christmas – either for financial reasons or because they are in essential services.  Here’s to them!

Thanks to the doctors, the nurses, the fire fighters, the police and all those who work over their Christmas Day to make our lives safer and take care of us all.

Yes our Calgary fire fighters are pretty hot!

Thanks as well to the pilots, flight attendants, check in agents and all those who work at the airports moving our luggage (sometimes losing our luggage – sometimes finding our luggage), explaining why flights have been cancelled and why they have been reinstated, trying to fly through turbulence, explaining how the seat belt works when nobody is even listening to you.  To all of you a big thank you.

You know everyone is ignoring you…..

And thanks to all those hard-working people including temporary foreign workers who keep Tim Hortons and MacDonalds running so that (God forbid) we don’t have to go without our coffee and big macs even on Christmas Day!
“Would you like fries with that?”